it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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