Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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