somebody snuck up and got me drunk
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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