i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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