woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
