sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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