that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
