he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
