So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Less talking, more tequila
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Just high enough for therapy.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I can't trust your balls anymore.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
