This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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