Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
