Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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