"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Life is so much better after having sex.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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