like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize