Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
