Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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