What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
worst night to have a conscience
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
