Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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