Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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