How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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