which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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