White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I FOUND THE LEGS
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
