found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
