As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
