dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Randomize
