we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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