What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
