Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize