Porn is love you can see.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Randomize