yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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