you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
