The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
