One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
