Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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