I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
