Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
