Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
i think i just lost a toe
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
