One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
