she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
