I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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