wrigley field is MILF paradise
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
