I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
