I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
My dad just said "fuck circus"
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I need to calm my uterus...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
