btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
