I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
