I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize