If i come over, it means nothing
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
