Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Randomize
