hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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