he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
