At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Randomize
