and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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