That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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