Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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