I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Oh god it's open bar.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize