we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
