I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
