Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
