I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
