it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
