awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
