I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize