at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
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U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
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Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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