Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
